So are you starting to get a handle on this "Globalese" language? It's not so impenetrable after all,
Can you believe it's late September once again? That magical time of year when an old globalists' fancy turns to world domination and the world waits with baited breath for the United Nations Secretary-General to deliver his annual "State of the World" address to the UN General Assembly gathered in New York.
. . .Oh, you didn't know there was a "State of the World" address. Don't worry, neither does anyone else who actually has productive things to do with their life. But rest assured there is such a speech delivered at the "General Debate" which takes place at the opening of each session of the UN General Assembly in the last week of September. Formally known as "The Secretary-General's Address to the General Assembly," it is followed by no one and impacts nothing, exactly like most other speeches at the UN—except the ones where the POTUS is threatening to bomb somebody or the President of Israel is holding up cartoon bombs like some demented Wile E. Coyote.
You see, the problem is that these "State of the World" speeches are not delivered in English but in Globalese, that strange tongue spoken only by those equally strange creatures that refer to themselves as "world leaders" and parade around in motorcades. So I thought I would take key passages from this year's speech, delivered by current Secretary-General Somethingsomething Whatshisface, and translate it into ordinary English.
What follows is the text of the address as delivered, followed by the English translation in italics. Ready? Let's go.
On the UN and Human Rights
Globalese: The United Nations Charter sends a clear message to us all: put people first.
The first words of the Charter—"we the peoples"—are a summons to place people at the centre of our work. Every day. Everywhere. People with anxieties and aspirations. People with heartbreaks and hopes. Above all, people with rights. Those rights are not a favour to be rewarded or withheld. They are an endowment for simply being human.
English translation: The United Nations Charter sends a clear message to us all: put people first. First on the chopping block.
The first words of the Charter—"we the peoples"—are a summons to place people at the centre of our crosshairs. Every day. Everywhere. There is no escaping us. These people have anxieties and heartbreaks, some of them caused by us. Above all, they have rights. Of course, we should also remember that "these rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations" as per the Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 29(c).
On delivering for "we the people"
Globalese: We are living in a world of disquiet. A great many people fear getting trampled, thwarted, left behind. Machines take their jobs. Traffickers take their dignity. Demagogues take their rights. Warlords take their lives. Fossil fuels take their future. And yet people believe in the spirit and ideas that bring us to this Hall. They believe in the United Nations.
English translation: We are living in a world of globalization. A great many people fear getting trampled, thwarted, left behind by the globalists. Offshoring takes their jobs. Bankers take their dignity. Politicians take their rights. Warmongers take their lives. "Fossil" fuels provide the perfect excuse to take their future. And, despite all this, these same people still believe in the spirit and ideas that bring us to this Hall. They believe in the United Nations.
On Ending the Conflict in Syria
Globalese: [. . .] And a long-sought step forward has just been taken on the political path out of the tragedy in Syria, and in line with Security Council resolution 2254. As I announced yesterday, an agreement has been reached with all parties [involved] for a credible, balanced and inclusive Syrian-owned and Syrian-led Constitutional Committee. My Special Envoy just left Damascus after finalizing the last details with the Government and the Opposition. The United Nations looks forward to convening the Committee in Geneva in the coming weeks.
English translation: And a long-feared step forward has just been taken on the political path out of the terrorist insurgency in Syria, and in line with our attempt to force Syria into a dialogue with the terrorist jihadis that our member states are helping to arm, fund, train and equip in the country. As I announced yesterday, an offer that couldn't be refused has been given to all parties [involved] for a buzzword1, buzzword2 and buzzword3 Syrian-owned and Syrian-led Constitutional Committee. The United Nations looks forward to convening the Committee in Geneva in the coming weeks and thanks you in advance for not asking why this "Syrian-owned and Syrian-led" committee is being organized by the UN and convening in Geneva.
On UN Peacekeeping Operations
Globalese: Consider the lives we can save by intensifying our investments to sustain peace around the world. Across some of the most troubled corners of the world, some 100,000 UN peacekeepers protect civilians and promote peace. Through the Action for Peacekeeping initiative, we are strengthening our effectiveness and efficiency and we are renewing partnerships with troop- and police-contributing countries, host countries and regional organizations such as the African Union and the European Union.
English translation: Consider the lives we can ruin by intensifying our investments to sustain turmoil around the world. Across some of the most troubled corners of the world, some 100,000 UN peacekeepers rape civilians and murder children. Through the Action for Peacekeeping initiative, we are strengthening our effectiveness and efficiency in setting up child sex rings and effectively evading prosecution.
On Climate Change
Globalese: As was emphasized at yesterday’s Climate Action Summit, the climate emergency is a race we are losing – but it is a race we can win if we change our ways now.
Even our language has to adapt: what once was called “climate change” is now truly a “climate crisis” … and what was once called “global warming” has more accurately become “global heating.”
We are seeing unprecedented temperatures, unrelenting storms and undeniable science.
Ten days ago in the Bahamas, I saw the ruin caused by Hurricane Dorian. That aftermath is a mere prelude to what science tells us is on its way.
But something else is on its way – solutions.
The world is starting to move – not yet fast enough but move in the right direction -- away from fossil fuels and towards the opportunities of a green economy.
The Climate Summit highlighted some of the solutions we need to scale up in order to dramatically reduce emissions, keep temperature rise to 1.5 degrees and reach carbon neutrality by 2050. But we are not yet there. We must build on this momentum, and do much more to be able to defeat climate change.
English translation: As was emphasized at yesterday's Climate Hostage Summit, the climate emergency is a scare that is losing its grip on the public—but we can scare more people if we change tactics now.
Even our language has to adapt: as our climate models get more and more detached from reality what once was called “climate scaremongering” is now truly a “climate scam” … and what was once called “global warming” has more accurately become “global hot air.”
We are seeing precedented temperatures, relenting storms and deniable science.
Now let me spew some more hot air by telling you an anecdote and following it with the argument "because science."
The world is starting to move—not yet fast enough but move in the right direction—away from our old petrochemical world order and towards the post-carbon technocratic enslavement grid.
The Climate Inquisition highlighted some of the solutions we need to scale up in order to dramatically reduce human life, pay off more scientists and achieve our 100 trillion dollar swindle by 2050. But we are not yet there. We must build on this momentum, and do much more to be able to defeat free and independent humanity.
Your Turn
So are you starting to get a handle on this "Globalese" language? It's not so impenetrable after all, if you know the basics. Why don't you put your newfound talents to the test and try translating the rest of the address? Or find a similar screed from a globalist mouthpiece and give it a shot.
Happy translating. And let me know what you find!